As you begin to ponder on the type of husband you are hoping to find, one principle that helps would be to have a list of 3 non-negotiable qualities that you are looking for in your potential husband. Having these qualities will save you a lot of time, emotional energy, heartbreaks and aborted relationships. Having this list can be beneficial for the following reasons:
You would know right away wether to invest in a relationship or not: If one of your non-negotiable qualites is that your potential husband must be of the same or similar faith or religious background as yours, you will find that you will not spend much time or resources in pursuing relationships with men who are not open to the teachings of your particular faith background. Or for a woman who already has children, it will be a waste of time and resources to pursue a relationship with a man who is not interested in her children.
The woman becomes more confident because she assumes the stance of a person screening potential men for a relationship as opposed to being desperate for a man. Most men are attracted to confident women; they look much more beautiful because they are more attentive to their looks, they are more attractive, because they look at people in the eyes, they are able to focus on what is going on around them since they do not focus on how they are being assessed by the people around them. It is important that every woman who wants to get a husband, develop a healthy view of herself.
3 qualities is enough – It is quite important that a woman does not have more than three non-negotiables. When one has more than 3, she becomes quite picky and may loose out on potential matches. So work hard on your previous list and take the top 3 qualities. I find that most people can compromise on many things but not on everything. Here is a sample list of a ladies top 3
- He must be a growing and passionate Christian
- He must love my children
- He must be able and willing to work (should have worked if recently out of job)
Thanks for the posts.
For the most of it, i think sometimes our lists are too long because we lose touch of the most important things but also because we want perfection(or what we think it looks like).I’d like to think more of it in the mirroring effect though-be what you want your spouse to be.
Yes, I agree that a great way to look at it is being what you want your spouse to be. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this post Pastor.
Having a long list to me equals to not having a list at all which not being organized therefore it means we have not taken the time to seriously think about it ie still dreaming (=not being ready to be a spouse).
This clearly says to me, if we focus on three points or non-negotiable criteria then we are being organized, focused, and therefore are preparing ourselves to be great spouse as we looking for the great one.
Thank you for reminding us to (re)-focus.
Blessings,