5 reasons why sex before marriage is dangerous

Many people have asked me why sex before marriage is such a big problem? They say something like this: “If two people love each other, why should they wait until they are married before having sex?”. The question looks reasonable at first, however when you think about it, you realize that what is happening to us today, is that people are generally not willing to pay for what they want. People want to be rich without working, they want to be famous without hard work, they want to get everything free. However, the truth is that Nothing is Free. The fact that you did not pay for it does not mean that it was not paid for. You may get it free, but someone paid the price. Now what I think people are asking is this. Why do I have to be committed to a relationship before I get all the benefits of commitment? When you look at it like that, you see why sex before marriage is dangerous. It’s like selling your house with the hope that you will sign the contracts at a later date. Here are 5 reasons why this is a dangerous idea. I believe that everything that God calls a sin is called a sin because it is destructive to us and to the general well-being of the created universe. So in this article I am presenting the reasons why sex before marriage is dangerous and hence sinful.

1. It is not the will of God for us: There is no explicit statement in the Bible that you must not have sex before you get married. However there are several scriptures that draw our attention to the fact that it is not the will of God. Read Exodus 22:16 -17; Deut 22:13 – 21; 1 Cor. 6:16-18; 1Cor. 7:1-2, 8-9;Heb 13:4; 1 Tim 5:2. The ideal that God has in mind for us is to be virgins before we get married. In fact when you read the Bible, you will get a sense that sexual intercourse is like the seal or the final stage in the process of getting married. So to have sex with someone that you are not married to is going outside the will of God for your life. It is sexual immorality and it is a sin.
2. It can easily become the reason for your relationship: Sex, was not created to be worshiped. It is not the goal of any relationship. The relationship itself is far more important than the sex. God’s glory is supposed to be the reason and foundation of any relationship. However, when 2 people meet and all they can think about is when they can get into bed, there is a problem with that relationship. You will notice that, everything is such a relationship will be designed to make eventually lead up to sex. This kind of relationship is what I call an inverted relationship doomed for failure. When you are in this relationship you say what you need to say, and do what you need to do so that you can progress along the path towards sexual intimacy. Eventually, issues that need to be addressed are not addressed and the relationship breaks down.
3. It leads to Adultery or sexual infidelity: Sex is supposed to be the most intimate activity that any two individuals can engage in. It is supposed to be reserved for that one person with whom one intends to spend the rest of their lives. The rebellious nature of humanity and the constant desire of the forces of darkness to frustrate us and cause us pain has deceived us to make this sacred activity into a frivolous activity. When sex is taken for granted like this, you discover that even when people are committed to one another, they go ahead to cheat on their spouses. Many homes are broken and children are suffering because of unfaithful husbands and wives.  Many relationships end as soon as the couple have sex for a couple times, because one of them is bored and wants to try other people. This is such a sad situation. It is sad because many of the young people today were brought up in home where sexual immorality has destroyed the homes and they are prone to making the same mistakes.
4. It delays the benefits of total surrender and commitment to one’s spouse: When a couple has been sexually active during their relationship before getting married, they are usually not so keen on getting married. They keep postponing and procrastinating, because they are not able to think clearly anymore, or they have begun to see things that they don’t like but are afraid to be honest with each other. Nobody wants to be called a player. Or blamed for leaving a relationship soon after sex entered into the picture. So the spouse that is open to more commitment suffers for a while hoping that the relationship will work, while the one who wants to leave the relationship enjoys free sex and even gets paid to have free sex, because the partner that want the relationship to work will be working hard to impress the other partner. Why not just do things the right way. Make sure that both parties are committed, spend time together, meet with friends and if things are still going very well for at least one year of serious commitment, then go ahead get married and seal it with sex on the wedding night. As I wrote earlier, sex is simply a very intimate way of communicating. You need to have something to say before you communicate. Sex says – “I love you with all my heart, I am happy I am one with you, let me be in you and you in me forever”. Now I think this kind of communication is only appropriate between a husband and a wife.
5. It reduces the level of trust between the couple: It is a blessing for a couple to discover that both of them are virgins on their wedding night. It was the norm a couples of centuries back, but now it a such a rare thing. I wish we can have more of this, because I believe it would be a blessing to this world if people learn to follow the will of God for their lives in this regard and in all regards. When you know that your spouse was a virgin until marriage and that you were unable to convince each other to try it out before the wedding, it helps both of you to trust each other. I do not intend to say that people who are virgin on their wedding day do not cheat on their spouses, I am simply saying that it boosts your trust in each other as opposed to having sex before the marriage.

There are many other points that can be derived from these initial points, and I encourage you to think about them. If you have been involved in pre-marital sex, are you still with the man you had sex with? If you have chosen to live your life to glorify God, why not go all the way and enjoy the blessings that God has prepared for you within a Christian Marriage. No one can force you to wait until your wedding day. And so also no one can give you the joy and blessings that are lost when you choose to follow your own ideas rather than God’s Ideal. Even if you are not a virgin, you can still enjoy the blessings of God. Our God is merciful, he forgives because of the blood of Jesus. Simply ask for God’s forgiveness and choose not to continue in your folly. You will soon start to enjoy the respect and love that you deserve as a child of God. I have never met anyone that said that the regretted waiting until marriage to have sex. There are many people who wish they have waited because they have been with so many people and have been sexually active only for the relationship to break.

It may not be easy but God can help you: I have heard many men say that there are no virgins above the age of 18yrs. That is not true; there are very many people who are virgins (never had sexual intercourse) and many who are not virgins but since they received forgiveness of sins through Christ Jesus, they have remained sexually inactive (virgins in Christ). It is not by self effort that you will do it especially if you have been sexually active before now, it is simply by trusting in the grace and power of God to do it in you. Do not be worried, just believe in God. I will love to answer your questions, please let us know them or simply leave us a comment.