In part one of this post, I listed 5 tips on building good friendships. In this concluding part of the article I will list another 5 tips.
6) Learn to forgive – People are not perfect. They will always do something that you will not understand and that has the potential of hurting you. If you are afraid of being hurt or disappointed, you will not make many friends and as such you will be reducing your potential for finding a husband. If on the other hand you already know that the people around you are fallible just like you are and that many times they are not out to hurt you, then it becomes easier to forgive them when they do hurt you. If you meet someone today and they do something that you don’t like or you don’t understand, do not run away from the friendship. Try to find out why they did what they did, see if there is a way you can be of help to the other person. Look for an opportunity to let them know how you felt and if they apologize, try to understand and forgive. Many of the people that hurt us at first go on to become our very good friends and helpers in the future. Remember “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”.
7) Think good thoughts about people – It is a good practice to always think good thoughts about the people around you. Believe that they have good intentions and that they have great potentials. Remember that God made them and allowed them to be around you right now. Believe that they have something to contribute to your life. Look for something to complement them for – when you do this, you take your focus off their weaknesses and you send them a positive vibe. I have noticed that people can always sense that you have a positive opinion of them and they tend to want to live up to that. if you practice this, you will soon discover that many people like you. Even if you are the shy type, still find something to complement about everyone you meet and say it to them if you have the opportunity. Even if a friendship does not develop, you would have contributed to boosting the confidence of someone.
8 ) Proceed with wisdom – It is true that most people have good intentions and great potentials, however it is also true that there are a few people who do not have good intentions and because of their past experiences have become so hurt that they continue to harm those around them. That is why for this tip I encourage you to be wise when developing friendships. Make sure you meet with any new person that you don’t know in a public place. No matter how much help they seem to need, find someone to accompany you if there is any possibility of danger. When you are getting the attention of a man and you feel that the relationship is moving to fast, be honest with them and slow things down – you should always be in control of your relationships. Try not to let yourself get carried away with the euphoria of “love”. I suggest that as soon as you meet a new person who continues to communicate with you over a couple of days that you share some information about it with someone close to you (a sibling, small group leader at church, family member or trusted room are some examples). When you share the information about the friendship, it helps you to get some perspective and to protect your heart and your self if need be. The Holy Spirit (inner knowing) is usually the best guide in every situation.
9) Speak the other person’s language – Try to speak in terms of the other person. As you learn to practice the tip of listening, you will discover that you will be able to say what you need to say in a way that the other person can understand you better. For example if I mention the word “trunk” it could mean 3 different things to different people depending on how they have been preconditioned. It could mean the trunk of a tree, the trunk of an elephant or the trunk of a car. With this in mind, you realize that to build good friendship you must improve your communication skills by learning to speak in the other persons frame of reference. In other words help them find what’s in it for them.
10) Don’t forget GOD – Remember that God is the creator of the universe. He own every person and knows them more than you do. Ask God to help you in all your relationships. A simple prayer for the other person for blessing can open your heart to the possibilities of what God wants you to do for them. As you allow God to lead you in your relationships and as you treat each person with great honour, the Lord will lead you to your husband even when you are not actively searching.
In conclusion, I encourage every woman reading this to focus more on being an excellent friend than on finding a husband. Practice these tips and enjoy the blessing of being a good friend to others and I can assure you that before long, there will be men who will be willing to do whatever it takes to have you as a wife. Remember that being nice and kind in your room will not bring you a husband. Go out there and be a blessing to someone that God has put on your path. If you are shy, do it one at a time. For those who are more out going they will do it many at a time. As long as you are consciously maximizing every connection that God sends your way every week you are on the path to finding your husband.