This is an article I prepared some time ago for a magazine. The article is targeted for men, but a lot of women can benefit from it too. In this article, my aim was to give men some tips on how to keep a good relationship going and to take it to a new level. I appeal to my female readers to bear with my overly masculine undertone. I wanted the men to wake up and make their women happy. Enjoy and give me your feedback.
Take Charge – The Man must be willing to take control of the home, he must be willing to create an atmosphere in which the woman is comfortable to follow him. She wants to be able to relax as if her protector, friend or guide is in charge. It’s the kind of feeling you have when a trusted person is handling your vehicle. You are able to sleep, knowing fully well that you will arrive at the destination safely. How can this be done practically? By being patient, by reassuring your wife all the time and I guess you can come up with more.
Learn to be Kind – A woman will do anything in the world for you if you put them at ease about their faults; build up their strong points. You need to reach the high level of kindness that says, I love you for who you are. I love you the way you are and I am ever so glad to have you in my life. What I believe most people want, is someone that is willing to take time to know them and after knowing them is willing to accept them just like they are able to accept themselves. If you make it your business to know your wife, and you make up your mind that no matter what you discover, you will help her to be what she wants to be, you will discover a world of happiness and joy known only to few men. What are some of the things your wife does so well? Tell her you notice and you appreciate them.
Start at the Mirror – You must start by working on yourself. If you try to make your spouse better, you will only fail. Can You say 3 or 4 things you plan to do better this week? It is fast becoming common knowledge that if you want to change someone, you change yourself. Always learn to ask this question – What can I change in me, that will help my darling to be better at _______? Place whatever you want her to be better at in the blank.
Ask her to help you grow – Be honest with your wife, accept that you are not perfect, ask her to help you be a good husband. And most importantly – MEAN IT. BE READY TO TRY OUT HER ADVICE. The same applies to the wife. It is possible that what she would say will knock you off your feet; However if you are a strong man ready to make your home a paradise on earth, make up your mind that your first reaction to her advice will be thank you. You must not defend yourself or retaliate. Your wife needs to feel that she is needed in your life. She wants to feel indispensable.
Communicate all the time – It’s important that you speak honestly to each other about your inner feelings. Not just things that happen outside but how you feel inside. The way you evaluate the depth of a relationship is how much of the inner thoughts, feelings, fears, ambitions, ideas are being shared. Aim never to have someone closer to you than your spouse. You must learn to listen to your wife. I personally have learnt that my wife does not always say exactly what she wants so I also read her body language. That is why most women always want you to look at them when they are talking. Give her time to express her self and have your undivided attention. Do not be afraid to say your mind about issues. Don’t assume that it is better to lie to her so that she will not be hurt. She will eventually find out and she will be more hurt. Aim at being totally honest with your spouse. Communicate often – Be creative and use technology. You don’t need to spend lots of money. I find that spending too much can spoil things sometimes.
If you like it say so – 3 things a husband must do everyday. Tell her you love her, do something nice for her and pay her a compliment. Tell her how beautiful she looks. Remind her about the part of her body that you love (the fact that you are married does not mean that you are blind!). Always look for opportunities to make your wife happy.
The Power of Faith – Keep saying good things about your babe. Even when she is not yet perfect in some things, say what you believe she will be. Tell her I believe you will be the best employee at your work this month. I see that you don’t get upset as often as you used to. I see that you are looking more beautiful everyday. Isee that you are such a great wife.
How to tell her what you don’t like? – Begin by telling her what you do like. If you have mastered the habit of telling her what you like, she will expect you to be honest with her about the things you don’t like as well. I suggest however that you always think of a positive way to say what you have to say.
Winning by loosing – Sometimes you need to give in – you will get a better result later. You cannot afford to win every argument. When you learn to loose some and let your wife save face, she will accept later that you were right and she will end up asking for your opinion. If you try to prove to her that you are smarter than her, she will keep trying to out smart you and that’s not as much fun as having her support and she having yours.
Never miss an opportunity to say I love you – Make the special days special. Get an organizer and plug in all the special days. The day you proposed to her (if you remember), your wedding anniversary (check the marriage certificate), Her Birthday (check her drivers license), and any other special days, the day you bought your first home and so on.
I can hardly wait to see you – Let her know you want to have her around you. If you discover that you don’t feel like this, think more about her and the feelings will come back. Spend time talking on the bed at night, be romantic. Be creative, Have fun and let your spouse tell you what fun means to her. Enjoy.